Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize