I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
