I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
