I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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