Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
