Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
