living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
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And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
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You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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