Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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