would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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