i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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