Can i not drive my cunt home
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
