I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
