Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
