these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
