he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
