she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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