I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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