I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
