I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
