Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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