Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.

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(267): Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome. http://tfl.nu/u178

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(512): View more from Texas

I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.

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(512): I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone. http://tfl.nu/t7gq

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(281): View more from Texas

had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.

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(281): had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag. http://tfl.nu/mbm9

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(206): View more from Washington

genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer

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(206): genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer http://tfl.nu/ip3a

Replies (40) Good night (4091) Bad night (581)
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(845): View more from New York

It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.

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(845): It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot. http://tfl.nu/ztf1

Replies (69) Good night (4118) Bad night (676)
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(541): View more from Oregon

we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.

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(541): we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people. http://tfl.nu/d8wc

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(303): View more from Colorado

Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?

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(303): Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead? http://tfl.nu/o3ef

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(845): View more from New York

Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.

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(845): Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents. http://tfl.nu/6leg

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(219): View more from Indiana

They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.

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(219): They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves. http://tfl.nu/j0o7

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.

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(606): I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships. http://tfl.nu/4vx4

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(313): View more from Michigan

Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.

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(313): Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me. http://tfl.nu/c83j

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.

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(603): pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning. http://tfl.nu/ar70

Replies (1) Good night (435) Bad night (1097)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.

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(610): Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours. http://tfl.nu/ytnd

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(425): View more from Washington

Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants

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(425): Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants http://tfl.nu/y64s

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.

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(304): I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over. http://tfl.nu/9s58

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