I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody