East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?