am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
your address is 607B right?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car