mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later