if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?