like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.