I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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