Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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