My room smells like vodka and shame
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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