so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
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When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
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I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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