i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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