The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize