Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
