I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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