i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I bet he comes in French.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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