If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
