I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You are a genius and a whore.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
