She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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