When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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