Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Still dying that you shit outside
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
