So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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