I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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