Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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