So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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