Say something about gay babies.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
