well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
