so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize