sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
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he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
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We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I think my moral compass just broke
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