dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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