"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
organizing the empties. That sober.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
