dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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