I wish I could punch you in the face.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
