i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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