whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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