I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
