i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Shame - the story of my life.
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