She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
