I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
They have beer where we have blood.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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