Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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