dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
