I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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