my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
false alarm, still single
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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