sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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