We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
