8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
