Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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