Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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