Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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