My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
