Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We talked him into tasing himself.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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