please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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