TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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