i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
