We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
