i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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