just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
